Hit By a Bus

"Your mono relapsed. You need to be resting even more. Taking daily multivitamins. Taking your BioDefense NK+ Immune Enhancer. Gargling with hot salt water to get rid of the swelling in the back of your throat. Drinking water. And resting. resting. resting. :::It might be months before your symptoms are gone and are able to get back to your busy schedule:::" -Dr. Dolly

I just got hit by a bus. I haven't been this discouraged, frustrated, and upset in a long time.
I'm not good at resting. I don't do that. And now it's the only thing I can do. Despite putting true effort into being positive I have given up on positivity, at least for today. I'm going to lay around and feel sorry for myself. And cry. And be mad that God let this happen to me. Because it's not fair.

I want to be doing my soccer workouts with my teammates.
I want to be outside going for bike rides in the sun.
I want to be having sleepover parties with Ally multiple nights in a row.
I want to go meet Matt at school this week and spend time with him.
I want to go longboarding all over town.
I want to coach my 6 weeks with On Goal.
There is sooooo much I want to do. But cannot. :[

I don't want to rest.
But today I will rest with this verse in mind - Thanks to Elise Hartman for bringing it to my attention

Habakkuk 2:17-19

17Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crops fails
and the the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
18yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.
19The Sovereign Lord is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to go on the heights.


Please pray.